i'M NO DiVA!
In speaking with MARTHA DAVIS Ė the sultry-voiced lead singer of THE MOTELS Ė I learned quickly that the ďwoman in rock n rollĒ question doesnít sit well with her. In fact she seems annoyed by it. "It doesnít matter. The only thing that matters is whether or not your music is good and not the gender. Do you have good songs? Thatís what matters. The whole thing of being a woman in rock Ė I just refused to look at it that way. I just wanted to know that my music had value.Ē says DAVIS ďI never think of my gender on those terms. I think when you start to think of yourself as a minority or someone who is suffering, you are going to project that and itís going to come back and bite you. Youíve just got to be optimistic positive and try to look forward.Ē

Looking forward is exactly what DAVIS has done throughout her life and career. When faced with motherhood at the age a fifteen and the death of both of her parents, DAVIS made the impractical life decision of pursuing a career in rock music. A prolific songwriter for as long as she can remember Ė DAVIS founded THE MOTELS in 1971 in Berkley, California and has remained the bands only constant despite style and line up changes. It wasnít until the early eighties that DAVIS saw her rock n roll fantasy come true with THE MOTELSí hits ĎONLY THE LONELYí and ĎSUDDENLY LAST SUMMERí but along with success came ego clashes within the band and her label steering the band and her music in an uncomfortably MOR direction. ďThe direction that I sought for my music had changed so dramatically that by that last album, I was doing a DIANNE WARREN song.Ē says DAVIS ďI am not a performer. Iím a writer. For me, itís not about what the voice sounds like. Itís about what you sing. By the end, they had me co-writing with all of these people and the objective was to write a hit and thatís not what itís about for me.Ē

Following the release of her debut CD POLICY, DAVIS dropped off of the pop music radar in 1989 and reupholstered furniture only to return a few years later with a brand new line up of THE MOTELS. ďI started over completely and I was working with these young kids that had never been on a record label and had never even seen a record deal. It started over as a garage band spent years perfecting the sound. It took up until five or six years ago to get the band that I have now so itís been a long-term commitment for me. This was something that I needed to do for myself.Ē

ROCKWIRED spoke with MARTHA DAVIS over the phone. Here is how it went.

Iím surprised to see your name come up on the caller ID.
Yeah I tend to put my name out there. What are you going to do? Stone me to death?

Oh no! Thatís perfectly all right. Some of the bigger people that Iíve interviewed in the past usually come up as Ďprivate name/private numberí but a name like MARTHA DAVIS sounds like the name of a sweet soft-spoken librarian.
I know! I always thought it was completely the wrong name for a rock n roller. My middle name is EMILY.

Sounds like the name of a high school poetry teacher.
Yes it does.

This the last date of your summer tour isnít it?
Yeah, we just finished up THE MOTELS tour. Iím doing a crazy little Vegas thing at the moment. Itís a private gig. But yeah Ė this is the end of summer.

In retrospect, how do you think the tour went?
I think it went pretty well. Iím very lucky to have this audience. THE MOTELS fans are pretty hardcore fans and the people that love us are such wonderful fans. After every show I end up staying afterwards for an hour and a half just to sign autographs. Itís pretty nice.

For the live set, do you incorporate any of your solo work as well?
Itís a good mix of stuff from the past, the old hits and Iíve even dusted off some quirkier songs that werenít hits and there are three new albums but Iíve only used material from two of those albums. The third album Iíd love to be itís own show because itís a concept album. Itís got to have itís own little thing. The new stuff goes over great. People really love the new stuff and thatís all good. Itís been fun.

Iíve heard whispers that youíre intending to release a jazz album.
There are whispers. MARTY JOURARD Ė the original sax player for THE MOTELS Ė lives in Seattle and he and I are talking about working on a project like that. I have always written a varied, eclectic bunch of songs Ė especially after THE MOTELS. Iíve always had a passion for the old jazz standards. Me and MARTY are talking about putting a little band together and hitting some of the local jazz clubs and if we do that, Iím sure an album will come out of it.

Speaking as a listener, your voice sounds like it could lend itself very well to that style.
Yeah, itís pretty happy there. I love that era and I love that kind of songwriting and itís really fun for me to do. It seems like there are a lot of people that decide that they are going to record their favorite jazz standards but I would like to write some new ones so that is what Iím going to try to do.

Talk about the current line-up of THE MOTELS? Who are the new members and what each of them brings to the table both musically and personality-wise that makes it work for you?
Weíre in an interesting time right now because I have a band in Los Angeles that Iíve been playing with for the past five years but then Iím making connections with some musicians up in Portland, which is where I live. I like to keep as many people around as possible because you never know who is going to get a gig somewhere else. I kind of have a stable if you will. The band in Los Angeles consists of ERIC GARDNER who is one of the greatest drummers that Iíve ever played with and he is a great, great friend. A wonderful guy! He was out last year with GNARLS BARKLEY as well as CLINT WALSH who is the guitar player. CLINT is a phenomenal guitar player and has just returned form FRANCE where he just got done working with one of the top pop artists in France. NICHOLAS JOHNS is on keyboards and JOHN SEYBOLD is on bass and he comes from the band EVE 6. He was from that band and he was signed when he was sixteen. I canít tell you how level-headed and awesome that this kid is. They are all such great guys. We have a real wonderful working relationship. They are all so talented and they all play different instruments. They are wonderful musicians with very like-minded sensibilities. Whenever you are in a comfortable place, it makes for some really great music. In Portland, Iím working with MATT MORGAN who engineered the last couple of albums. He also plays drums with me sometimes and I had FELIX MERKER who is another engineer at the studio but is also a word class clarinet player and he plays keyboards for me sometimes. So Iím pretty well covered by wonderful and handsome men.

Sounds more like stable than a motel?

How is this ďstableĒ different from previous line-ups?
There have been more MOTELS incarnations than anything! The first MOTELS line-up started in Berkley California, which included DEAN CHAMBERLAIN, CHUCK WADDA, LISA BRENNEIS and ROBERT NEWMAN. There were a few changes to that line up and it turned into THE MOTELS that got signed which was JEFF JOURARD, MARTY JOURARD, BRIAN GLASCOCK, and MICHAEL GOODROE and that turned into TIM McGOVERN on guitar and then GUY PERRY on guitar. That whole band went away and then in 1989, after I released the solo album POLICY, I went out and did a horrendous tour of Australia and when I came back, I was just done. I called my lawyer and begged him to get me off of this record label. The label had changed so much in the years since we were first signed. I was exhausted and I didnít feel like my music was going in the right direction. For one year, I didnít write a song. That is the longest that Iíve ever gone with writing music and I got off of CAPITOL RECORDS and started re-upholstering furniture. Then when I got back into music, I literally started from scratch all over again. I found really young guys that had never been on a label and I basically went through the whole process again of putting a band together. There have been so many people in THE MOTELS that it is hard to see straight anymore.

Let alone know what makes them different!
I was doing another interview and they were saying that of all of the people they had ever researched they noticed all of the changes that the band has gone through and I was like ĎYeah! I kind of do that!í I donít know why. Iím pretty easy to get along with but stuff happens. Iím definitely not afraid of change. I really embrace it.

Even in doing my own research Iíve got to say that aside from line up changes, you and the band just did things differently.
That is true!

I remember when everyone made a big to-do about CHRISSIE HYNDE and PAT BENATAR having children but you went into the business with two children already.
Yes. I had my first child when I was fifteen years old. I still look back on hat to this day and I donít know how the hell I did that. I lost both of my parents, I had two kids and I wanted to be a rock star. You do the math. It just made no sense at all. It was really difficult.

Given the fact that both of your parents had died and you were a mother of two, what made it easier to decide to become a rock singer?
My mom committed suicide. I found her diary Ė which I didnít know that she had ever had Ė and in it, she was taking about what she really wanted to be. She was a brilliant literary scholar at Cal Berkley back in the 1940ís. She married my dad and from there, she had to be the housewife. She got extremely frustrated. All she wanted to do was hang out with bohemians and write prose and he kind of put the smackdown on that. She listened to him and obeyed and at the end of the day was miserable and ended up killing herself after they divorced. When I found the diary it was right when I wanted to do music. I was really torn and my dad was like ĎNo Martha! Youíve got two kids. You have to go back to school. What are odds that this is going to happen?í But once I read her diary, I realized that I had to do this. It was this weird parting gift that she gave me. I wasnít going to give in to what everyone said that I shouldíve done. My lesson was to try to follow my dreams and I did. I sat my kids down. They were five or something at the time and I gave them this whole spiel of ĎIíd rather do this now. Iím going to try. It might not work but if I donít try Iím going to resent you or me laterí They probably didnít understand a word Iím saying and they were like ĎWhatever!í. Six or seven years later, we were starving. We had no money. I had no parents and no safety net whatsoever. My husband was out of the picture but thatís a whole other story. I was on my own with these two kids in Hollywood and trying to be a rock star. I remember my daughter looking up and asking me ďMom, if we make it, can I get some new socks?í Somehow, some way, we all made it through and I love my daughters dearly. Weíre still great friends and itís pretty great. Iíve got two grandkids now. Life is pretty damn good.

And youíre living in Portland and surrounded by a lot of good music there.
Yes. Portland is a great music town.

How did music enter into your life?
When I was a kid my mom had an amazing record collection and my dad would sing to me at night. He had a gorgeous voice. I remember from the age of four or five sitting down to my favorite record, which was a 78 of IGOR STRAVINSKIíS ĎTHE RITE OF SPRINGí. I used to just sit there and watch that turntable and listen to that music was just fascinated by it. I just that that was the greatest music ever because it was so scary and so beautiful and wonderful. When I was eight years old, a wonderful thing happened to me. Iím from Berkley California from very liberal parents. There was this young African-American on scholarship there from Watts who my dad hired as our babysitter so we could have some extra money. He was one of two African-Americans enrolled in the law program there and he taught me my first three guitar chords on my dadís guitar. I loved that guy. He was the most awesome babysitter. We had so much fun. The firs song that I learned was LAY DOWN YOUR HEAD TOM DOOLEY. His name was THELTON HENDERSON and he went on to work for ROBERT KENNEDY and was in the Civil Rights Movement. He knew MALCOLM X and he knew MARTIN LUTHER KING. He knew them all and I am still friend with him to this day. He is now the Superior Court Judge in the Ninth District and has gone on to work on things like Dolphin-Safe Tuna and when they tried to repeal affirmative action he helped stop it. There is actually a documentary about him called THE SOUL OF JUSTICE. Heís wonderful. After I learned my first three guitar chords, I spent a lot of time in my room playing them and making up chords of my own. Aside from the three chords, Iím pretty much self-taught. I spent a lot of time inventing chords that already existed. I thought I was pretty hot shit. As my family started to disintegrate, I spent a lot of time in my room with my guitar. At eleven, I fell in love with musicals and after that I was into that who greaser thing. In the sixties, I really fell in love with soul music. I think that stuff is some of the greatest stuff ever written. Thatís my background. Itís everything from STRAVINSKI to THE MIRACLES.

THE MOTELS eventually became defined by the New Wave but the band started in 1971 Ė well before the New Wave era. What sound was the band going for in the beginning?
The early sound was actually funky. This was the Bay Area and you had things like SLY STONE. The song COUNTING was from that era. Some of the things on the debut album in 1979 were from that time.

What led to that incarnationís break up?
It was really sad. We were actually starting to get some gigs and I was like ĎThank God!í. I was living in Holly wood with my kids and we could not get a gig in Hollywood. The trend back then was that if you didnít have an album deal you couldnít play anywhere. I was like ĎHow do you get an album deal if you canít play your original stuff?í A couple of bands got together with THE MOTELS and we did this thing called RADIO FREE HOLLYWOOD. We hired a security guard, got a keg of beer and we spent about eight hundred dollars, which was mad money for us. We did all of this raise money through the show and we didnít lose very much money. It was packed. Shortly after that, THE STARWOOD called us and asked if we wanted to play a show. After that, we started gigging around town and I think it definitely had to do with the response to RADIO FREE HOLLYWOOD, which set out to prove that unsigned bands could pull in a crowd. We started gigging regularly and we were opening for VAN HALEN, which was really hilarious. After this show, this waiter came up to me and said that there was this man from CAPITOL RECORDS would like to speak to me. I was like holy mackerel! It was this guy named CARTER and the first thing I did was spill white wine on his lap. I was a little nervous. He was expressing great interest in the band and wanted to sign us. I ran backstage and told the guys that we might have a record deal and ROBERT the drummer said ĎI quit!í And then the rest of the guys were like ĎOh shit! Weíve got to find a new drummerí and I said ĎOh no weíre not because I quit too!í As the band was maturing, it was obvious that there was a split in the musical direction. ROBERT and I both loved DAVID BOWIE and BRIAN ENO and the other guys were leaning more towards the VAN HALEN side of things. I totally understood it because every night that we played with VAN HALEN, there would be nothing but girls, girls, girls there. From a young mans point of view, I could understand. ROBERT and I stumbled on trying to put the band together ourselves. Both ROBERT and I are complete idiots when it comes to any kind of logistics. Weíre both very left-brained? Or is its right-brained?

I canít remember.
Anyway, he and I werenít getting anything done and we were having these crazy guys come over to audition. It just wasnít working and then I was contacted by a guy named JEFF JOURARD - who had seen the band perform before. He tracked me down and said, ĎI wanna play with you.í He had some credentials too because he used to play with TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS in Gainesville. When JEFF joined the band, shit started getting done and ROBERT quit. ROBERT and JEFF hated each other. I went with the path of least resistance because JEFF could really get things done. JEFF brought in his brother MARTY and then we auditioned BRIAN GLASCOCK and MICHAEL GOODROE and within six months we were signed to CAPITOL RECORDS.

You were signed in 1978 and music had shifted direction to New Wave.

And I was reading that you guys used to rehearse at THE MASQUE. THE MOTELS seemed like they had too much refinement to be rehearsing at THE MASQUE. Describe what that was like.
THE MASQUE was hi-larious! There was no level of refinement going near us in THE MASQUE. It was mostly punk rock bands. We shred a room with THE GO-GOS. Everybody had to be a little bit edgy in that place. When I think about the first MOTELS album, itís got a fair amount of edge to it. Back in the day when hardly anyone dropped the F-bomb on a record, I did it with the song CELIA. The line in CELIA is Ďhe isnít gonna kill ya / Heís gonna fuck up your pretty faceí. This was a line that my husband actually told me. Later on, it goes right in a song. CAPITOL RECORDS hears it and they are like ĎOkay! We need to do a safety on this song.í They wanted the lyric changed and Iím racking my brain because the only thing that makes sense to me in the lyric is ĎÖfuck up your pretty faceí. The label came up with the answer. Their solution was ĎÖcut up your pretty faceí. That was so much worse than ĎÖfuck up your pretty faceí. I was like ĎAre you people on crack!í

And crack wasnít even around then.
Yeah, we hadnít invented it yet. It just goes to show you what things can fly and what canít. If itís violence you can have it. If itís sex, you canít.

That debut album is now thirty years old.
Holy mackerel! My baby is thirty?

Yes it is! Thirty years later, what kind of place does that album hold in your heart?
That album is my favorite MOTELS record. The songs on that album resonate with me very strongly. To be perfectly honest, by the time we got to ďthe hitĒ, it was way too MOR for me. The production was way to MOR. Musically, I like to be dissonant. You can still hear that in the later stuff but it was so polished and produced. We made an impact because he did come back in 1979 and signed us. When he came back and saw the new band, he booked studio time before we had even signed anything. We were signed on Motherís Day and the next day we went into the studio, which is very rare. CARTER wasnít one of those producers that fucks with things. He let you do what you wanted to do. I knew nothing about recording. THE MOTELS never did anything the normal way. That was a completely abnormal way of entering the music business. It usually takes months of lawyer-ing and contracts and stuff like that. You donít sign a contract and go into the studio the next day. We were signed without a manager. We were just taking care of ourselves. Even the label was like ĎI think you guys need to get a managerí and we were like ĎWhy do we need a manager? We just got a record deal.í When I was doing the deal with the record company, I asked each of the guys what it would take for them to live for a year. And I came to the table and said ĎLook! We donít want a whole bunch of money. This is what we needí and it was like sixty-thousand dollars. You want a shrewd business woman, Iím your girl!

No thank you!
Oh youíre going to love this! This is classic MARTHA. I was sitting down for one of our first press meetings with CARTER and I go ĎHereís the deal! Iím been hearing about this pay-to-play stuff. No way! If people donít like our music for what it is, then weíre not doing good enough music but Iím not having any of this pay-to-play business.í And everyone is looking at me like ĎOkay! Whatever lady!í I didnít exactly understand that concept that no one is going to hear your music if you donít pay-to-play.

In 1979, they made a big deal about women doing rock music and getting signed like crazy. What was that like for you?
Back then I always got the ĎWhat is it like to be a woman in rock?í question. My answer was always ĎIt doesnít matter.í The only thing that matters is whether or not your music is good and not the gender. Do you have good songs? Thatís what matters. The whole thing of being a woman in rock Ė I just refused to look at it that way. I just wanted to know that my music had value. Iíve always been a tomboy and Iíve always lugged my own gear. I never expected to be treated differently form anyone because Iím a woman. Iím not a girlie-girl. Iím certainly not a diva. Holy shit Iím no diva. My theory is that you be nice as you can to everyone that you meet and try to do good work and good things will happen. My favorite word in the English language is consideration. Because of that, I never think of my gender on those terms. I think when you start to think of yourself as a minority or someone who is suffering, you are going to project that and itís going to come back and bite you. Youíve just got to be optimistic positive and try to look forward.

THE MOTELS were first noticed in Australia in terms of chart success. How did that feel?
It was kind of bizarre. We were signed so quickly and it was like a whirlwind. We made the album quickly and then we were on the road. I had no time to digest it and I was still trying to digest other things that were going on in my life. I was very confused when I got to Australia. We were performing and when we got to TOTAL CONTROL and all of the lighters came out and people were singing along. It was a huge hit there. That was the first time where I felt that song of mine was resonating with people. It was quite unnerving actually. Australia remains very fond of THE MOTELS. Australia is wonderful country but Iíve noticed lately that they are making this move to be like America and Iím like ĎNo, donít do it!í People in Australia tend to be really Wild West. Theyíre younger and you can feel it. When I was there, it felt like I was in America one hundred years ago. Theyíve got this wonderful, rabble-rousing attitude and theyíre not worried about anything. Aside fro the beer, itís a very healthy society. In terms of music, they kind of go with what they want and I think that MOLLY MELDRUM from COUNTDOWN had a lot to do with it too. He was the RODNEY BINGENHEIMER of Australia and he had a TV show and he really launched careers.

I was down there on his show once and I was booked with this band called THE TOURISTS.

ANNIE LENNOXís first band.
Thatís right. I was on stage with a very young ANNIE. Her band had played a gig the night before and Australia is really a tough place to tour. It is spread out and all of the people are on the coasts. Apparently, the night before she went on COUNTDOWN, she passed out on stage because of the exhaustion. We worked hard during those days.

Iím going to jump ahead a couple of years to the album that no one ever heard.
Oh no!

I donít even have to say what the album is. When the band first went into the studio to record APOCALYPSO, what was the objective?
There was a power play going on in the band between two very powerful egos. One was TIM McGOVERN who was the guitarist and the other was VAL GARAY Ė a producer who had just come off from doing BETTE DAVIS EYES by KIM CARNES. TIM was my boyfriend and I fell in love with him because he is a great musician. He was in the band THE POPS bore he joined THE MOTELS. His musical influence was all over the place and as far as Iím concerned it was TIM that produced that album and it was VALís idea to not let CAPITOL RECORDS hear it until it was finished. In hindsight, that probably wasnít a good decision. When it was finished and we played it for CAPITOL and they were like ďUhhhh weíll put it out if you want to but chances are weíll probably promote it.í It did give me the opportunity to break up with the boyfriend and fire him form the band As a boyfriend TIM was not good at all. Then I was left with VAL and once again, it was a very strong ego that I had to contend with.

And he became the bandís manager eventually.
He became everything. He directed the videos and Ė oh my God he was a nightmare. He may have mellowed with age and he may be a calm lovely person now but he was not nice back then. I was stuck between two not very nice men at that time and it was difficult. Part of that whole ONLY THE LONELY thing was that being out on the road where you are riding around in limos, taking flowers, drinking champagne and having people just b really mean to me. There wasnít a lot of physical violence but there was some of that. There was a lot of verbal abuse and that came from both VAL and TIM. I was too suppressed and stressed and for me, that is the true meaning of stress. Stress isnít having to do a lot of work. That is healthy. Stress is when you feel like you are losing control of your life and that was when I fell apart. When I lose control that is when things go wrong with me. That was what happened right after that record.

Describe stepping into the music video era. You were one of the first artists on MTV.
It was really a lot of fun. I really, really, loved it because I worked with two really brilliant directors. RUSSELL MULCAHY did the first two. We did TAKE THE L and ONLY THE LONELY for about sixty thousand dollars each. That was back in the day before unions were involved. Weíd literally go out street teaming and finding a location and the P.A.s would go and round up anyone that wanted to be in a video. That was how it was done. It was like ĎHey! You wanna be in a video?í the best extra was the old man that was the bartender in the ONLY THE LONELY video. The guy had jus stepped off a bus. He had been in Oklahoma for the past thirty years. So he gets the gig for the video and heís pouring the drinks and drinking them and he was getting a little fresh. He was hitting on me by the end of the night. Because the directors we worked with were real directors and because we worked in film (I hate video) it was so much fun and years later to be able to work with DAVID FINCHER was absolutely fabulous.

Heís had quite a career.
He has. One night, years ago, I was watching this movie called THE KEEP and it was a horror movie about Nazis and the camera work was just amazing. When the credits rolled I found out how the guy was and I called around saying that ďIíd really like to work with this MICHAEL MANNĒ but he was working on MIAMI VICE. Then they told me about this new kid that they thought I would like. At that point, he had done a music video for RICK SPRINGFIELD. Then one day we met and we got on like a house on fire to the point that he was actually dating my daughter for a while. It was a whole family affair there for a minute. Iíve had quite a remarkable career and I feel fortunate to have been associated with great people.

What brought about the demise?
The band had run its course. It is a very difficult thing Ė politically- to have that kind of band. Iím the front person and the main writer. It became a thing that the record company started to use as a wedge. They would refer to the group as MARTHA DAVIS and THE MOTELS and I was fighting really hard to keep the thing as a band. It was kind of obvious that that wasnít going to happen. It also a standard operating procedure for a producer to fire members of your band and hire the guys that he likes to work with and that was happening over and over. I think that after a while, the guys in the band were kind of beat up. Politically, it was a struggle. The money was starting to run out. It was a combination of things. As we had worked on the last MOTELS record and as they would straggle in the door, I would take them across the street, buy them a drink and fire them. It happened to be on Valentines Day and MICHAEL GOODROE still refers to it as the ST. VALENTINES DAY MASSACRE. It was really sad because we were friends and we still are. Most of us donít see each other very much but weíre still friends. After that, I put a band together for my solo record POLICY in 1987 and we did this gnarly, hellacious tour in Australia. Even though I had radio success in Australia with the POLICY album, CAPITOL wasnít going to send me over there, so I financed the tour by myself. By the end of the tour I was exhausted and disappointed in what CAPITOL had turned into at that time. I fired my manager and fired everyone and got away from CAPITOL RECORDS. The direction that I sought for my music had changed so dramatically that by that last album, I was doing a DIANNE WARREN song. I am not a performer. Iím a writer. For me, itís not about what the voice sounds like. Itís about what you sing. By the end, they had me co-writing with all of these people and the objective was to write a hit and thatís not what itís about for me. So, off I went to the land of furniture upholstery. I spent the next year going to the GOODWILL and SALVATION ARMY and finding old furniture and stripping it and staining it and reupholstering couches. It was instant gratification. Even though the music business makes it seem like everything is an overnight success, it doesnít work that way. It takes forever to do anything and itís frustrating for a girl like me who is very, very impatient.

After being away for so many years, what was it that brought you back?
It actually wasnít that many years. I left CAPITOL in í89 and went one year without writing a song and then I was writing again and co-writing with people. One of these days, Iím going to release these thousands of songs that are just sitting around. In 1994, I put another band together because I got this crazy offer to play at this function so I did it. The deal actually fell through but that got me going again. I started over completely and I was working with these young kids that had never been on a record label and had never even seen a record deal. It started over as a garage band spent years perfecting the sound. It took up until five or six years ago to get the band that I have now so itís been a long term commitment for me. This was something that I needed to do for myself.

Five years ago VH-1 reunited THE MOTELS for that show BANDS REUNITED. How awkward was that?
That was very awkward. I was actually hijacked but it was fine. We were always good friends and we love each other a lot. The first run through we did we were like ĎOh shit! This isnít going to work!í but the second time, things started to come back. It was great fun. It was very nice.

Since the inception of THE MOTELS, what didnít you expect?
That is a very interesting question. I donít know what my expectations are. I like to have vision and I like to see things. Sometimes when Iím a on a bumpy plane ride, I like to envision pulling up the driveway. As far was expectation go, I go by that old saying Ďexpect the worst, hope for the best, and take what comesí. I donít know how to answer that question. A big surprise? Itís all been a big surprise and thatís what life is. Did I expect my parents to die? No I didnít. Did I expect to get pregnant at fifteen? Not a chance in hell. Did I expect to be a pop star? No. Thatís life. Itís great. I love it.